Will I Ever Like a Boss?

Since the last time we spoke I have switched jobs. I did this for a variety of reasons-closer to home, could sell my car and become a true city girl, less weekend work, etc. etc. So now I am doing a similar job at a luxury hotel and let’s just say-it sucks as bad as the old job. I just don’t like working. OK? I can admit it.

My new boss has been out of the country since last Wednesday. This has given me time to reflect on why I hate working. Do I actually hate working? I’d say no, only because this summer I have spent my free Saturdays sweating my butt of in the Chicago heat learning how to be a floral designer. And on the weekends I’m not doing that? I’m either at the hotel, or helping a wedding planner execute huge celebrations in the greater Chicago area. For most of these extra-curricular activities I am not getting paid. And when I am, it is in the form of $9 an hour, or credit towards my own wedding flowers, or cab fare. It’s hard work, and I’m really enjoying it.

So then I thought to myself “Self, maybe it’s because you have bad bosses.” Because, I can also be honest with myself and say that I’ve never liked a single boss I’ve ever had. That is, until after I’ve quit. I’m actually quite good friends with almost all of my past bosses at this point.

While my boss has been gone, the woman acting in her place has been awesome. Awesome in that she also really doesn’t like my boss either, and neither does anyone else in the office for that matter. This got me and blondie (my counterpart) talking and thus I began to form a hypothesis: Do I reject authority?

I make this hypothesis under the assumption that if my boss were to be fired and if the woman currently acting in her position was promoted, then I’d ultimately start to despise the new boss as well. Why is this? Is this a generational thing? And, if that is so, why don’t I hate my internship bosses? Would I hate them if they were more than just part-time bosses? Like if they were full time bosses who enforced office rules and sales goals? So many questions! Who has the answers? It is a tough life being 25 in the city. But I am lucky ‘cause everyday, no matter which boss annoys me that day, this is what I come home to

life is good.

Blogging...who does that?!

In a land far, far away...a long time ago...there lived two girls who one day, during one of their endless g-chat conversations, decided ti would be genius to start a blog. This blog, they declared, would be comprised of their thoughts, insights, and general observations on the single life of an early twenty-something living in a city. They got excited, picked out a name, and began to blog a post or two. Fast forward 18 months and it became hugely successful spawning a series of books & movies...............OR...they got busy living that super twenty-something lifestyle and their thoughts, insights, and general observations got reduced back to the endless g-chat conversation.

However, in a vain attempt to resurrect the pearls and popped collars of yesteryear, we're going to try to give this thing another attempt. While we're no longer early twenty-somethings (with 25 thrusting us squarely in the "mid to late" twenties group), and some of us are no longer single (cough: miss caro: cough) and some of us changed jobs, we still have the same thoughts, insights, and general observations as always. So here's attempt #2...Ready...Set...Blog!

10 Annoying Habits of a Preppy Spouse

by: Caro

loosely inspired by: http://blog.wired.com/geekdad/2009/03/10-annoying-hab.html

Everyone has annoying habits, and a sizable part of every successful marriage is learning to live with those things each other does that annoy you. I think it's safe to say, too, that preps have some habits that we think are awesome, but that non-preps find a little...less awesome.

Now my boyfriend is a prep, but he's not as much of a prep as I am, and since I’m a know-it-all I did not consult anyone to build this list. Here are my results:

1. Monogramming - I remember when I was young, I thought that the coolest names were one that spelled other words when monogrammed. Hence my first childhood crush on Alec Stephen Sherman (tehe). Then I went to my first rush party and I realized that there are girls out there who are way more obsessed with the monogram than I. That gave me something to aspire to, of course, which I did for a while. Since college, I've scaled back on the relentless monogramming I used to require, but I'm sure I'll never quit completely.

2. Using "obvi," or “natch”, or both, instead of regular length words - Yes, this is a marvelous way to shorten a sentence. I suspect that's one of the reasons it can be annoying to others, though: it’s like English as a second language for English as a first language speakers. I caught my co-worker using "totes" the other day, now that she's been spending so much time with me, but she claims to have been doing that for years. Still, I figure she was just trying to flatter herself and attempting to be as preppy as me.

3. Weird or over-the-top ways of celebrating pet holidays – Second in importance, only to the birth of one's child, is the birth of one's pet! So it only makes sense that we celebrate their birthdays in a manner similar to the celebration of a human birthday. I have never actually celebrated a pet’s birthday but with my little Lily’s birthday on October 7, I do plan to change this. 4. Quoting girly movies – Preppy girls have a tendency to watch the same DVDs that come in the pink plastic container with a token blonde girl on the front over and over again. We will discuss everything from the specific sorority they imitated or mocked, to the minutiae of costume and prop design, but what gives us the most pleasure is identifying misinformation, bad hair, awkward movements, or super cute ideas. For some reason, this tends to annoy non-preps who, I guess, don't enjoy the process.

5. Wearing your greek letter/sorority formal t-shirt to normal places - Every prep has at least a few of these; don't try to deny it. We love them, because we get the jokes and we know that only other preps will get them, too. Unfortunately, they can make our less preppy/non-greek significant others feel a bit out of the loop when out with us—or maybe they fear the preppiness will rub off on them, I'm not quite sure. Still, I feel that if I have to occasionally let my boyfriend wear a Indiana University shirt from 1998 out of the house, I can wear my “its always hotter under the water” Anchorsplash shirt from 2005.

6. Requiring extra room in the house for preppy things - Not all preps have exactly the same space needs, but we've all got more than most people. There are the scrap books accumulated over several decades, the stacks of polos and 7 jeans, and the old picture frames that might be useful someday, you never know! Some of us need just a good-size closet or seven, some of us need a room, and some of us take over the entire house. For some strange reason, the people we live with tend to get a little annoyed at this.

7. Prep paraphernalia and decorations can be hard to explain to outsiders - Long has my Lands End monogrammed boat & toat bag collection overgrown its allotted closet space, waiting for the day when I find a use for that tiny one that I just had to have...And how to properly explain my model of my dream yacht to my boyfriend’s mother? I mean, if we say "One day I hope to sail through the Caribbean in this bad boy” she will only think you are a dreamer. That's not a bad thing, of course, but it can get a bit tiresome to explain (read: justify).

8. Looking up the newest spring collection while winter is still in progress - So what are if these pieces will be on sale before its actually warm enough to wear them? Didn’t you know that that is what Caribbean vacations and tanning beds are for? It gives us something to dream of to get us through the weary winter months before Madras and Bonanno flip-flops are a reality once again.

9. Needing to watch certain TV shows ASAP to avoid spoilers – Thank goodness for the abundance of preppy television shows on TV these days; but think of how awful it would be if you accidentally found out what happens with Blaire and Chuck this week! And keeping away from Twitter and Facebook and other social websites and services in case a spoiler happens to come across it just isn't viable for that long because, let's face it, we're social butterflies and we have to be connected at all times.

10. Preppy projects that take over the house and whole weekends – Cork boards, cake design, gardening-that pesky Martha Stewart always makes me think that I can do it just like her. Alas, I cannot. Some preppy projects are simple and won't take but a few minutes, and some just seem to take every bit of available glue stick and mimosa in your house. I think most spouses of preps try to understand this behavior, but are too busy trying to figure out what you are crafting to really get it.

So, any additions to the list? Any spouses/significant others/roommates of preps out there want to add a few of their own pet peeves? Please leave a comment.

Opposites Attract
or: why karma is no bitch

by: caro

For those of you who are unfortunate enough to not know me in real life (undoubtedly you are readers that are from the future, after Lola & I become famous, reading the entries from the early days of peace, love & pearls...) you probably do not know about my financial irresponsibility from my collegiate days. Without going into deep (and shameful) detail, let's just say that while my peers were worshiping at the throne of Carrier Library & the Showker Computer Lab, I spent my days, and nights, and basically every waking minute worshiping at the throne of shoes, handbags, and Greek Letter t-shirts.

Fast forward 18 months from graduation. I meet Mr. Wonderful, the last remaining thing on the planet known as a "good man," in my opinion (be it ever so humble). So many things about Mr. Wonderful contradict my life and how I had lived it, that I have honestly begun finding humor in these contradictions.

Contradiction #1: my older sister is a CPA. I made fun of her for years for being an accountant. I told her for every gift giving holiday that "I'm sorry I cannot afford a TI-83 for you, this necklace [magic bullet, gift certificate, shirt] will have to do in the meantime." I scoffed at her for dating other accountant types, constantly informing her that accountants are "lame" and "what do you talk about? how much your fingers hurt from crunching numbers all day long?" So, it only makes sense that Mr. Wonderful is not only an accountant, but works for one of those fancy big 4 or 5 (hey I'm a party planner, I can't keep track of which accounting firms are performing acts of insider trading and pilfering money from their clients or whatever, thereby being shut down and shamed in "the industry") downtown. Life will ALWAYS come back to knock you flat on your ass. However, instead of making fun of the big sister, now I just make fun of him.

Contradiction #2: Mr. Wonderful is slightly (adorably) dorky. And I can put this in a public post because I tell him this on a daily basis. It is said with all the love and adoration in the world (and a little known secret I will make public-I love a dork!) and he knows I don't mean it in a put down sort of way. Quite the opposite. Anyways, Mr. Wonderful lives for his spreadsheets and databases. Nary a weekend goes by that I don't say, "Mr. Wonderful, what are you doing this afternoon?" to which he replies "working on the computer," which is code for 'updating my 25 sheet workbook in excel of my various investments and putting in the movies and concerts we have seen recently into the database of concerts and movies." God love him. When it comes to me working on the computer its more like "Sift through google reader, lust over the latest collection at J. Crew, see when the Jen Lancaster book tour is stopping in Chicago [May 6th!!], and drool over the latest Williams-Sonoma gadgets."

I guess its true what "they" say. Opposites really do attract. Because Mr. Wonderful has been saving pennies for two things since he was 16 (and he'll be 28 next month...) 1-down payment on a house 2-my 2 carat asscher cut engagement ring. Good thing he started at 16, that's all I'll say about that. He invests constantly in his 401(k) and has a variety of other accounts that pull random (but i'm SURE meaningful) letters from the alphabet like an IRA and god only knows what else. Me? I consider it a blessing to not get charged from my savings account for "excessive withdraws" and I really get nervous thinking of putting into an account that I literally cannot touch. No thank you Mr. IRA I like my money right where I can see it (whether that's hanging in my closet ala Carrie Bradshaw, or where I can view it easily from my shiny laptop). So, the way I see it, we have two very individual responsibilities in the relationship. He is responsible for keeping us in the black. I am responsible for keeping us well dressed. And those are gender roles I will gladly accept.

The Real (read: FAKE) Housewives of New York City

or, why I am addicted to the trashiest reality show on television today

by: caro

Please, loyal reader(s) forgive me, for not blogging for 3 days. It is three-fold, really, the reason behind this. First of all, because Lola has left me temporarily, for a different continent, I have no one reminding me to blog, also, because of the different time zone, we don't get to g-chat and therefore are lacking the witty repartee that tends to lead to blog topics. Finally, we have decided to try to keep this from turning into a full on bitch-fest, and the last three or four days have been less than desirable, so I needed to take a break before I brought you all down with me.

So, that being said, I will blog about my newest (and dearest) guilty pleasure. This is known to me, as television cocaine, but to the commoner, as "The Real Housewives of New York City." Now, the primary reason I am obsessed with this show is because of the blatant over-the-top-ness of these insane women. That, and the fact that most of them all have accents straight out of Long Island or the dirty Jerz. Though this may or may not be a regular thing, I believe I will base tonight's blog on my tearing apart of LuAnn-I mean, Mrs. deLesseps. Stop the presses, that is COUNTESS deLesseps to you, commoner. I will say this about that, she is probably the classiest, prettiest, best poised of the tramps on this show, that being said, she is still a bitch.

In tonight's episode, we see Bethenny, the only non-housewife of the show (does she even belong?) introducing LuAnn to her (Bethenny) driver by her first name. The Countess has to school Bethenny on proper introduction etiquette, and who exactly does not have to refer to her as "Mrs." It all seemed very complex...and fake. I guess this is something I may never understand, because Mr. Wonderful happens to, unfortunately, not be a Count...and my dreams of being royalty, let alone a princess, have been crushed.

Luckily for all of us, Bethenny learned how to properly introduce the Countess to Jill's maid as Mrs. deLessep, erego, saving the upper east side from a royal-murder on their hands, and one hell of a mess for that poor indentured servant to clean up. Thank the good lord for that.

In case you haven't yet, tune into this show. It is addictive, much on the same level as diet coke, endorphins, warm chocolate chip cookies, and alcoh...I mean...milk.

Fixing the World, One Analogy at a Time

by caro

It did not take either of us long to realize that we are stellar analogy makers, and can typically brighten up any rainy day with a well structured analogy to help put it all into perspective. This all started the summer between sophomore and junior year when my life seemed to come to a screeching halt (in retrospect? Definitely the best thing that could have ever happened to me, but I digress).

The scene: Stairwell of Lola’s luxury ($375 a month, but actually still luxury) apartment. 10:00pm-ish. Lola in her pajamas. Me in the same clothes I’ve had on for two or three days, mainlining Absolut because my boyfriend and I had just broken up (there is still a question of who did the breaking, but I believe I won when I told him not to let the door hit him in his ass on the way out, and he called me a dumb bitch, and I smacked him, in my driveway, with children watching, and told him if he ever talked to me that way again I would tell his mother that he cheated on me with that hussy. Official score: Caro-1,000,000 the ex-0). I never thought that life would go on, that anyone else would ever love me again, I would never find anyone else in this world, and that the pain would never end.

Enter the first of many analogies that would begin to solve life’s problems. That’s when Lola, in her all knowing wisdom, explained to me that a break-up is like a scab. Yes, a scab. First, you have to fall, and bleed and hurt and cry and whine. A lot. And then it scabs over. And sometimes we put Neosporin on these cuts (or, in my case, Absolut with no mixer, no chaser). And the scab starts to heal, over time. Occasionally you may bump into a table, and that might really hurt the scab, or even in bad cases re-open the scab (like when you find out that he proposed to the girl he cheated on you with. Oh wait, if you’re going to lose in the semi-finals, may as well lose to the team that wins the championship…that’s my one and only sports analogy you will ever hear). But ultimately, the scab will heal. And sometimes there will be no reminders of the original fall. And sometimes there will be scars, and occasionally you will glance at the scar and remember the massive fall you took, and the time it took to heal, but you will remember that it did heal, after all. And you will eventually take up the activity that led to the initial fall. Maybe next time you won’t fall, and maybe you will. But with good friends, good family (and good booze!) you will always heal.

Why Corporation is really just a synonym for Sorority….

(Or why my life hasn’t drastically changed since graduation)

By:Lola

I spent 4 years in a Sorority (the best and drunkest 4 years of my life). I have spent 2 years in Corporate America (the longest and most challenging 2 years of my life). While driving home today (taking 1 hour to go 11 miles…Thank you DC traffic), I had an epiphany . I realize that my company is a carbon copy of my sorority. Here is what I realized:

1. Clique is not just a word your mother warned you about: Yes, that fateful word that carries so much negativity in describing groups of women. While the word has been swirled around in our brains since the days of middle school, cliques are a major component of both the Greek life and the Corporate life. I have decided that there are three main cliques in both organizations. While there could be many sub-cliques of each clique, each sub-clique will actually roll up into one of the following: Those with power, those who like to have fun, and those who grasp to rules like it’s the last ½ price J-crew flip flop of the season. First, those with power. This is the group of girls in a sorority that holds the positions and in corporate America it is the group of women who are the managers and VPs. These women make decisions that affect the entire group determining such things as work load, seating arrangements, and overall atmosphere of the environment. These women know they have power and are not afraid to use it. Membership in this group is only obtained when your name is followed by a title, i.e. Lola, VP of the Masses. The next group is the girls who spend more energy in having fun then planning the takeover of the organization. These girls are most likely to send out the email about the mixer/happy hour, plan sorority/department fun days and overall remind people that life isn’t about who has the best title when you reach the grave. The last groups of people are those who embrace the rules. In Sorority land these are the girls who enforce the No hazing rules, no underage drinking rules (or attempt to), and so forth. While this group might not sound fun, it is vital in the Sorority to keep the “fun” clique in balance. In the work environment, this is the group who has corporate policies memorized, usually work until the wee hours of the morning and return to their cubicles at exactly 00:59 into their lunch hour. Hopefully there are equal numbers in your sorority/department to keep things balanced.
2. The “We work harder and are more vital to the success of this organization” Mantra. It doesn’t stop at graduation girls. In my personal experience, each “dept” of a sorority feels it is the most important part of keeping the Sorority successful and running. The social team demands the most money for mixers, because after all, we are a social sorority. The Philanthropy team demands the most time for community service because after all we are based on the values of service, and the Recruitment team demands the most attention because after all, the only way to keep a sorority going is to have new members. The same can be said in Corporate America. The Marketing department demands the most money, because hey, without marketing, we won’t have customers. The IT department demands the most time, because hey, if you get a virus and shut down the entire mother board of the company we’re all screwed, and the Finance department demands the most sympathy, because hey, we’re here calculating the numbers to see if all that marketing and virus protection are paying off and we’re doing it until the wee hours of the morning. Each group feels they are highly superior and more important than the others. After all, they are the reason the sorority/corporation succeeds.
3. Happy Hour is just another name for mixer. Mixers were quite possibly the highlight of my week while a member of a sorority. No matter what drama was going on or how many tests I had that week, I knew two constants would be waiting for me come Friday: Jungle Juice and Frat boys. Happy hours are the Big Girl World equivalent of mixers. Happy hour’s sole goal is to have employees drink their sorrows away, complain about their bosses and potentially partake in activities with coworker that will result in awkward meets and greets in hallways. The directions for Happy Hours and Mixers are the same. Drink. Mingle. Hookup. Repeat.
4. Dress for Success. The way a person dresses is the single most used factor in passing judgment in a Sorority and a Corporation. It is called the superficiality factor. If you are not dressed to meet the standards of the organization, then you have little to no chance to succeed. Wear overalls or jean on jean to a recruitment event, you will be guaranteed a spot in the closet counting votes. Wear sweats to your job (or Sorority for that matter) and not only will your next promotion be in the year 3000 you might be called into your boss’s office for a chat about professionalism. However, if you show up in the cutest Lilly Pulitzer dress with J-crew flip flops and pearls and you are on the fast track to President of the Sorority and the Corporation (guaranteed).

Sidenote: The only redeemable quality I have yet to find in my boss is the fact that she wears pearls every day.

5. If you forget what Organization you belong to…Just look down. It was a vital part of the week in Greek Life (well Monday-Thursday that is). Letter day. The day during the week (Wednesday for us) where all Sorority girls were asked to put on their best pair of letters to show the world where they belonged. You were to show off with pride those letters you had worked so hard to earn during pledging. The same applies in Corporate America. Fridays are the days when Corporate America asks their employees to wear their company polo or golf shirt to work. In exchange for this, you might be permitted to wear jeans.

The only difference between the Corporate world and Sorority life is that you are not rewarded for the ability to do a 1 min keg stand or for being undefeated in beer pong against said Fraternity that past weekend. Oh and that whole pay check thing.