Peace, Love, & Pearls

Why Corporation is really just a synonym for Sorority….

(Or why my life hasn’t drastically changed since graduation)

By:Lola

I spent 4 years in a Sorority (the best and drunkest 4 years of my life). I have spent 2 years in Corporate America (the longest and most challenging 2 years of my life). While driving home today (taking 1 hour to go 11 miles…Thank you DC traffic), I had an epiphany . I realize that my company is a carbon copy of my sorority. Here is what I realized:

1. Clique is not just a word your mother warned you about: Yes, that fateful word that carries so much negativity in describing groups of women. While the word has been swirled around in our brains since the days of middle school, cliques are a major component of both the Greek life and the Corporate life. I have decided that there are three main cliques in both organizations. While there could be many sub-cliques of each clique, each sub-clique will actually roll up into one of the following: Those with power, those who like to have fun, and those who grasp to rules like it’s the last ½ price J-crew flip flop of the season. First, those with power. This is the group of girls in a sorority that holds the positions and in corporate America it is the group of women who are the managers and VPs. These women make decisions that affect the entire group determining such things as work load, seating arrangements, and overall atmosphere of the environment. These women know they have power and are not afraid to use it. Membership in this group is only obtained when your name is followed by a title, i.e. Lola, VP of the Masses. The next group is the girls who spend more energy in having fun then planning the takeover of the organization. These girls are most likely to send out the email about the mixer/happy hour, plan sorority/department fun days and overall remind people that life isn’t about who has the best title when you reach the grave. The last groups of people are those who embrace the rules. In Sorority land these are the girls who enforce the No hazing rules, no underage drinking rules (or attempt to), and so forth. While this group might not sound fun, it is vital in the Sorority to keep the “fun” clique in balance. In the work environment, this is the group who has corporate policies memorized, usually work until the wee hours of the morning and return to their cubicles at exactly 00:59 into their lunch hour. Hopefully there are equal numbers in your sorority/department to keep things balanced.
2. The “We work harder and are more vital to the success of this organization” Mantra. It doesn’t stop at graduation girls. In my personal experience, each “dept” of a sorority feels it is the most important part of keeping the Sorority successful and running. The social team demands the most money for mixers, because after all, we are a social sorority. The Philanthropy team demands the most time for community service because after all we are based on the values of service, and the Recruitment team demands the most attention because after all, the only way to keep a sorority going is to have new members. The same can be said in Corporate America. The Marketing department demands the most money, because hey, without marketing, we won’t have customers. The IT department demands the most time, because hey, if you get a virus and shut down the entire mother board of the company we’re all screwed, and the Finance department demands the most sympathy, because hey, we’re here calculating the numbers to see if all that marketing and virus protection are paying off and we’re doing it until the wee hours of the morning. Each group feels they are highly superior and more important than the others. After all, they are the reason the sorority/corporation succeeds.
3. Happy Hour is just another name for mixer. Mixers were quite possibly the highlight of my week while a member of a sorority. No matter what drama was going on or how many tests I had that week, I knew two constants would be waiting for me come Friday: Jungle Juice and Frat boys. Happy hours are the Big Girl World equivalent of mixers. Happy hour’s sole goal is to have employees drink their sorrows away, complain about their bosses and potentially partake in activities with coworker that will result in awkward meets and greets in hallways. The directions for Happy Hours and Mixers are the same. Drink. Mingle. Hookup. Repeat.
4. Dress for Success. The way a person dresses is the single most used factor in passing judgment in a Sorority and a Corporation. It is called the superficiality factor. If you are not dressed to meet the standards of the organization, then you have little to no chance to succeed. Wear overalls or jean on jean to a recruitment event, you will be guaranteed a spot in the closet counting votes. Wear sweats to your job (or Sorority for that matter) and not only will your next promotion be in the year 3000 you might be called into your boss’s office for a chat about professionalism. However, if you show up in the cutest Lilly Pulitzer dress with J-crew flip flops and pearls and you are on the fast track to President of the Sorority and the Corporation (guaranteed).

Sidenote: The only redeemable quality I have yet to find in my boss is the fact that she wears pearls every day.

5. If you forget what Organization you belong to…Just look down. It was a vital part of the week in Greek Life (well Monday-Thursday that is). Letter day. The day during the week (Wednesday for us) where all Sorority girls were asked to put on their best pair of letters to show the world where they belonged. You were to show off with pride those letters you had worked so hard to earn during pledging. The same applies in Corporate America. Fridays are the days when Corporate America asks their employees to wear their company polo or golf shirt to work. In exchange for this, you might be permitted to wear jeans.

The only difference between the Corporate world and Sorority life is that you are not rewarded for the ability to do a 1 min keg stand or for being undefeated in beer pong against said Fraternity that past weekend. Oh and that whole pay check thing.